‘Misaki’s Death Café’ Screenplay

By Thomas Caterer
This film is available to watch at the Yanagi Studios YouTube Channel –
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtQoNe4Caf12D62lP_s0gww

INT. MISAKI’S DEATH CAFE – NIGHT

Misaki is working behind the bar, cleaning pint glasses. A man and a woman are stooped in a corner, talking in hushed voices. There is a woman reading at a table.

The door opens. Nathan enters. He walks briskly to the bar, his eyes meet Misaki’s. She pauses her work, dishcloth in one hand, pint glass in the other. She half-smiles.

NATHAN
This is a death cafe?

MISAKI
That’s right.

NATHAN
What happens here?

MISAKI
We serve coffee in the day, alcohol at night. A limited range of snacks. And you can talk to people about death.
Tuesday is quiz night.

NATHAN
A death quiz?

MISAKI
Sure, like how did Marie Curie die? What’s the most common cause of death in children? What’s the mortality rate for Ethiopia last year?

NATHAN
(pauses for thought)
I’ll have a beer please.

MISAKI
Sure.

Nathan pulls up a stool at the bar and sits. Misaki serves his beer. The man and woman are playing Operation. After a buzz and a sigh of frustration from the man, they turn their attention to Nathan.

JOHN
What brings you here?

NATHAN
I’m just tired of it.

INGRID
Sick and tired. Yeah me too. What’s brought you here though? Something made you crack?

NATHAN
A friend of mine died. I’m trying to understand why, and what it means.

MISAKI
Well this is a place for exchanging ideas about death.

NATHAN
Well, I don’t have any ideas of my own really.

INGRID
Maybe you can find some here…

NATHAN
I don’t know where to begin with that. I don’t know why I was born, I don’t even know why I have the body of a carbon-based great ape! Why am I trapped in this shell that always needs something? From one moment to the next it needs something different; food, drink, sleep, medicine, just to keep it running. And then whether its my body or soul or something else I don’t know, but there’s all these things I want constantly; love and sex, and a god, but then I worry ‘what if he’s evil or just doesn’t care about a small thing like me?’. What does any of it mean?

JOHN
Nothing means anything. Your brain processes the information of the outside world, and once it decomposes and is eaten by worms, that’s it. No more brain, no more you.

INGRID
(gesturing with the Operation scalpel)
That’s according to one school of thought. If you believe there is only material and nothing else.

NATHAN
What else could there be?

INGRID
Who knows? But it was very kind of chance to allow for all the things a conscious being needs to live and make the things they want to, to be within their reach. Especially considering over 95% of the universe is dark matter and dark energy. Its useful that we’ve got water, and rocks, and animals all here.

JOHN
We find all the conditions necessary for life, because we are alive. So those conditions must have been met. That’s all it is.

NATHAN
You’re an atheist?

JOHN
Well I’m agnostic, and a realist. I like to come here so we can discuss other matters related to death than simply the problem of what happens to consciousness.
Did you see the DeathLab exhibit at the 21st Century Museum?

NATHAN
Sadly not.

JOHN
Well, it addresses the issue of how in a secular society, in which declining birthrates are coupled with aging populations, and cremations release carbon emissions, how do we in an ethical and responsible way, dispose of our dead?

NATHAN
I have no idea, I’ve never thought about it.

JOHN
In New York, there was a proposal for memorial vessels to be built underneath Manhattan Bridge. They would house microbial colonies. They emit light, and as the bodies inside decompose the light wanes, and at the end of the year, new bodies power new lights. The decomposition of one body lends itself to create beautiful lights to inspire and warm the consciousness of living people found inside living bodies. Its a wonderful idea!

NATHAN
It sounds like a nice way to pay your respects.

During John’s explanation of Constellation Park, the woman at the table reading, places a bookmark, puts her book down, and moves over to the bar, she orders a black coffee from Misaki, and sits next to Nathan, one empty stool between them.

JUNKO
You didn’t come here because you’re worried about your friend’s corpse though, did you?

Nathan turns on his stool to face Junko. He drains his beer.

NATHAN
(turning to Misaki)
One more please.

MISAKI
Of course!

NATHAN
(turning back to Junko)
No, I’m not worried about the body, but rather the consciousness.

JUNKO
Yeah, consciousness. In modern semantics, its what folks like Ingrid (she nods in Ingrid’s direction) call the soul.

Misaki serves Nathan his beer.

NATHAN
And you’re a what?

JUNKO
Something close to a Buddhist. I believe we’ve always existed. Your body you have now is just the manifestation of the here and now. When the soul moves on, it learns something new from the experience of a new body. Would being beautiful make you vain and cold? Would being disfigured make you angry and resentful? How would you cope with a disability? Would being born into wealth make you corrupt? There are infinite lessons to learn about your own soul.

INGRID
From a biocentric viewpoint we can recognise death as an illusion, as it is merely an extension of the stubborn illusion of time. The conscious observer can control time; change the direction taken by a particle in the past, turn a particle into a wave…

NATHAN
Look, I’m sorry, but this is all just fucking noise to me! An exercise in intellectual masturbation, meaning no disrespect. But it’s all rather abstract. Is there anything solid that can support a materialist viewpoint or a biocentric one? Any stones or mud or earth? Or is it all just fucking fairy dust, and we can’t know or prove anything until we’re just bloody rotting.

MISAKI
You’re right, it isn’t solid. It’s not a tangible topic to begin with. That’s why it’s horrific, and also why it’s beautiful, and hopeful.

NATHAN
(hesitatingly)
Look… I’m not sure if this is the place I was looking for…

As Nathan’s sentence trails off, the door opens with aplomb. Death dressed in the archetypal garb, scythe in hand, strides confidently to the bar.

Nathan turns around, his mouth ajar. His jaw is on the floor, his face flushed, his eyes wide with excitement.

DEATH
Whiskey. Neat.

MISAKI
Starting early, Death?

DEATH
It’s never too early for whiskey, Misaki, you know that!

Misaki smiles and pours Death a whiskey. Nathan’s eyes are glued to Death, who has occupied the stool between him and Junko.

NATHAN
(slowly approaching Death to face him)
Shit… it’s you!

DEATH
Huh? You’re not on my list are you?

Nathan shakes his head. Death takes a sip of whisky.

DEATH (CONT’D)
Well, all right then.

NATHAN
Listen, I have questions for you! I need to know what you are, where you take us all?

DEATH
Look pal, I’ve just clocked off, and I’m trying to relax after work. People see me, and they think I’m a trained monkey. I’m not signing anything, I’m not posing for a photo, and I’m not answering any work questions. Sorry, if that makes me a diva, but fuck it!

NATHAN
No, come on, you have to tell me!

DEATH
All right then, what’s your job?

NATHAN
I’m a copywriter.

DEATH
Oh fabulous! I need some sparkling new copy written for my press releases and online ads! Why don’t you just put your beer down and start writing me some copy in your own damn free time!

NATHAN
It’s easy enough just to say it! I want to know where my friend is now, you can just tell me!

Death sighs, drains his whisky and turns to Nathan to hold his gaze.

DEATH
If I knew I would tell you. I’m just a facilitator, a hired hand. I extract souls from bodies and then fuck knows what happens to them. I don’t really ask questions. It’s just a job, my real passion is music, this just pays the bills. I don’t actually know anything.

Nathan is crestfallen. The cafe is silent, and he stares into his glass.

DEATH (CONT’D)
You’d be better offer asking, Junko, she’s in transport, she should know where they go…

NATHAN
(excitedly turning to Junko)
You mean you actually know? Buddhism is true?!

JUNKO
Umm no, Buddhism is just what I believe is true. I just drive the truck from point A to point B. I have no idea what actually happens to anyone.
Ingrid is in the logistics department for death, I always figured she might know something she’s not letting on…

INGRID
Oh no, goodness, I don’t know anything. John is in planning though!

JOHN
Don’t look at me! I’m as clueless as anyone!

MISAKI
It’s just a bunch of people doing things without any idea what they’re doing or why…

Nathan looks from face to face, the realisation dawning on him. His look of frustration turns to one of resignation.

NATHAN
I can’t stand not knowing anymore.

DEATH
(speaking softly)
Nathan, your name has just appeared on my list… I can feel it. I guess I’m working overtime tonight…

MISAKI
The Sai River is just around the corner from here, take a left when you leave here, then left again at the first corner, and there it is.

NATHAN
Yes. Let’s go.

Death rises, and puts an arm around Nathan’s shoulder. They leave the cafe together.

‘Princess of Death’ Screenplay

By Thomas Caterer
This film is available to watch at the Yanagi Studios YouTube channel –
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtQoNe4Caf12D62lP_s0gww

EXT. FOREST – CLEARING – DAY

The leaves of the trees are green and gold. There is a wide clearing in the forest. The Princess is dressed in an elegant white dress, and white shoes. She wears a white tiara upon her head. She looks at peace.

The Princess walks into the forest, and moves gracefully among the trees.

Two large skeletal claws tread upon the leaves, turning them dry and grey, as the feet move across the clearing all life and colour are drained, like blood drained from one’s face.

Death is tall, winged, and skeletal, horns are risen from his head, and he is shrouded all in black, a hooded cloak, and scythe in hand. He is the classic image of the grim reaper. Eyeless.

Death follows the Princess.

The Princess turns around, her face turns to terror, and she begins to flee, with Death following at full flight behind her.

EXT. FOREST – AMIDST THE TREES – DAY

The Princess runs from the pursuing Death. Her dress tears on the branches and, in panic, she throws the shorn pieces away.

EXT. FOREST – LAKE – DAY

The Princess comes out of the trees, and finding a lake, approaches it. She turns back to face Death on the other side from her. She moves to the edge of the lake and then tentatively removes her shoes and places her feet into the lake.

Death approaches the lake.

EXT. FOREST – CLEANING – DAY

The Princess is on the floor of the same clearing as before. She is soaked and shivering. Her hair sticks to her face, she is panting.

EXT. FOREST – LAKE – DAY

Death is at the edge of the lake. He looks at his reflection. Lifting a skeletal hand to his face, he caresses his cheek. It crumbles into dust and falls into the lake. He holds his hand out in front of him and studies the scene before him with curiosity but not terror.

EXT. FOREST – CLEARING – DAY

The Princess rises from the ground. She is drenched from head to toe. She approaches an old, gnarled tree and sits beneath it. Death is staring at her from the opposite side of the clearing.

The Princess adopts a meditation stance, her hands resting atop her knees, which she rests herself upon. Her eyes are closed. She meditates and then slowly opens her eyes, her expression is peaceful.

She sees Death standing on the opposite side of the clearing, a piece of his face missing. He approaches and with a determined look, she moves towards him too. They both pause when they meet in the middle.

The Princess lifts a hand to Death’s face. She caresses him, he lets out a wail, and moves his face into her hand.

The Princess kneels down and then Death lowers himself to rest his head in her lap, as she gently caresses him and a gentle yet joyful and rising piano begins to play.

THE END

‘Bucket’ Screenplay

By Thomas Caterer
This film is available to watch at the Yanagi Studios YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtQoNe4Caf12D62lP_s0gww

EXT. NARROW STREET – NIGHT – HEAVY RAIN

A WOMAN (mid-twenties), is wearing a smart suit, red overcoat and red heels, she pushes a pram up the street, approaching a house.

CUT TO:

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM

Alex (early 20s) is eating a children’s brand of cereal in his dressing gown and slippers. On the table in front of him is a bottle of cheap whiskey, and baccy, rizlas, filters. He is watching Adventure Time on TV. There is a loud knocking at the door. Alex pauses, looks in the direction of the door, annoyed. There comes another knock, more rapid than before. Alex reluctantly rises and stubs his toe against the table. He shouts out and then angrily stomps across the room to the front door.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – HALLWAY

Alex approaches the front door.

EXT. ALEX’S HOUSE

Woman stands, tapping her foot impatiently.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – HALLWAY

ALEX
Yes?

EXT. ALEX’S HOUSE

Woman sighs, pulls an envelope out of her handbag and pushes it towards Alex, who accepts it.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – HALLWAY

ALEX
What’s this?

Alex glances down at the envelope and pulls a letter out.

INSERT – A letter which describes Alex’s successful application to adopt a child.
BACK TO SCENE

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – HALLWAY

ALEX
Jeez, I think you got the wrong geezer here, missus. I ain’t exactly father material.

EXT. ALEX’S HOUSE

Silence. Woman pushes the pram forward though the doorway.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – HALLWAY

Alex looks shocked.

EXT. ALEX’S HOUSE

WOMAN (sternly, blank-faced) I think you’ll find we don’t make mistakes Mr. Murphy.
(emotionless) I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful father. Woman walks out and closes the front door behind her.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – HALLWAY

Alex turns back to the pram, pulls it inside and then pulls back a blanket which reveals a BUCKET with a neutral face drawn on it. Alex then runs back to the door, carrying Bucket with him, carelessly bashing it against walls as he runs.

EXT. ALEX’S HOUSE

Alex scans outside unable to find the Woman.

2.

ALEX
Hey! Come back you fucker! Why have you given me a bucket? Is this some sorta sick joke? What are you tryna pull?

Alex pauses confusedly, placing Bucket above his head to shelter himself from the rain. He appears glum and dismayed.

FADE TO BLACK.

The sound of rain falling continues for a few moments before, fading out. Fade in, the wailing cries of a baby.

CUT TO:

INT. ALEX’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Alex’s eyes open wide suddenly as the baby’s wailing turns into a scream. He sits bolt upright. He looks dazed and confused. He puts his hands to his head in dismay, brushes sleep from his eyes and gets up. Alex rises, turns on his light, laboriously dresses himself in a dressing down and slippers and then staggers downstairs.

INT. ALEX’S LIVING ROOM

Alex approaches the abandoned pram. He pulls the blanket off and inspects the pram. Bucket has a crying face with tear drops.

ALEX
(raises voice)
What the Hell is this?

The screams grow louder.

ALEX
(CONT’D)
Ah just shut up

Alex considers for a moment and then runs into the kitchen, opens the fridge and pulls out a pint of milk. He opens it and rushes back to the Bucket. He pushes the milk to the Bucket.

ALEX
(CONT’D)
Hungry?

3.
The screams grow louder and shriller once more. More tear drops appear. Alex considers again and then returns the milk to the fridge. He returns to the Bucket, picks it up and checks underneath. He then runs upstairs. Bucket continues to cry out. Alex returns downstairs with a teddy bear, he places it in the pram with the Bucket. The screams again intensify and more tear drops appear. Alex angrily throws the bear out in impatience. Alex paces the room and then returns to the pram and begins to sing a lullaby. As he sings, the screams quieten down and the Bucket’s crying face is replaced with a smiley face. Alex smiles back.

FADE TO:

MONTAGE – CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS THROUGHOUT.

EXT. PARK POND

Alex is sat with Bucket on a bench. The sun rises. Alex tears of pieces of bread to feed the ducks.

INT. SUPERMARKET

Alex is smiling to himself whilst he puts various baby-care items into his trolley. Bucket is sat in the child’s seat.

EXT. PARK SWINGS

Alex pushes Bucket in a child’s swing.

EXT. PARK POND

Alex and Bucket are sat on the same bench as before. Alex feeds ice cream to Bucket. The sun sets.

4.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – LOUNGE

Alex has his arms around Bucket and is reading it a children’s story. Bucket has a sleepy face with Z’s trailing off.

END OF MONTAGE

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – LOUNGE

Alex and LIAM are sat in the lounge.

ALEX
You know I thought it was really too soon for me to be a Dad but I feel like I’ve matured a lot and I’m really enjoying it

LIAM
Yeah man, you’ve adopted a great Bucket and you know everyone feels scared at first but I always knew you would be a great father. Have you decided on a name?

ALEX
No, you can’t sex a Bucket till its at least a year old, so I won’t till then. Right now I’m just happy being a father.

LIAM
You know, Alex, Bucket doesn’t look its usual cheerful self.

Bucket has a sad face drawn on it. Dramatic, discordant music plays.

FADE TO:

EXT. HOSPITAL – GREY DREARY DAY

INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM
Alex waits anxiously for news of Bucket, pacing up and down the room. NURSE enters the room.

5.

NURSE
Your Bucket has a fever I’m afraid, it’ll have to be kept in for a while, for observation and rest.
ALEX
God, please don’t tell me its anything serious!
NURSE
Calm down sir! We’re professionals here and we’ll doing all we can.
ALEX
Well maybe that’s not enough, this is my child’s life we’re talking about here!
NURSE
It could be worse sir… just be grateful it isn’t you.

Nurse turns and leaves the room. Alex tuts and looks disgusted.

EXT. ALEX’S HOUSE

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – LOUNGE

Alex is waiting nervously, and is then startled by a loud knock at the door. Alex opens the door.

INT/EXT. ALEX’s FRONT DOOR

A pair of hands push the pram into the house. Alex smiles, relieved and takes the pram inside.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE – HALLWAY

Alex pulls back the blanket and his smile turns to a frown. Bucket still has its original unhappy face but with another smiley face drawn over it in red.

MONTAGE – DISCORDANT, DARK MUSIC PLAYS THROUGHOUT.

6.

EXT. PARK POND

Alex is sat with the Bucket on a bench. The sun rises. Alex despondently chucks pieces of bread at the ducks.

INT. SUPERMARKET

Alex, appears sunken and beat, he joylessly gathers random items into his trolley. Bucket is sat in the child’s seat.

EXT. PARK SWINGS

Alex pushes Bucket in a child’s swing, using one hand and looking away into the distance, tears forming in his eyes.

EXT. PARK POND

Alex and Bucket are sat on the same bench as before. Alex despondently feeds himself ice cream after attempting to offer it to Bucket. The sun sets.

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE

Alex has his arms around Bucket and is reading it a children’s story. Music stops.

BUCKET
(strained, hoarse)
Kill me

END OF MONTAGE

INT. ALEX’S HOUSE

Alex looks at Bucket, tears welling in his eyes, he lowers his head.

ALEX
(whispers)
Okay…

EXT. PARK POND

Alex approaches the pond with the pram. He takes Bucket out of the pram and carries it over to the pond.

7.

Alex holds Bucket with a hand on each side and lowers it into the water. Alex’s expression is intense and sorrowful. Alex drowns Bucket, he then lifts Bucket up and there is no longer a face at all.

FADE TO BLACK